literally had 100 drinks last night.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
