We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
