My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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