The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Fuck appropriateness.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
