Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I got inside last night via doggy door
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
