Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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