i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize