Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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