The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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