Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
