3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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