So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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