if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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