is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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