I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
