As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
