your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
