We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
