well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
