i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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