i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
