I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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