i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize