The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
