U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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