i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I had to cum in my sink.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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