I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
