it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
