need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
