there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
