Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Randomize
