Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
