i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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