Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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