were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
