yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
