All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
