if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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