What did we do last night that was yellow?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I believe in your delicious
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
