areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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