I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
