She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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