Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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