I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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