i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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