if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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