i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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