so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
