This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
you never un-have a 4some
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
