Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
