I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Two words: nipple clamps
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