haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
It's just like the Real World with babies
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
