i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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