He is such a slut. More and more my type.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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