i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize