im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize