Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
