We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
