i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
