i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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