Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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