Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
